Awake, but half asleep

Well, this weekend wasn't the super-productive weekend I had hoped for, partially because I couldn't seem to remember what exactly I was supposed to be doing.

On Friday night, I went to the wake of my friend's mom with my parents and then had dinner with them back in the Ridge. Nothing sounded better to me than crashing out at their place while curled up with my adorable, goofball dog, so that's exactly what I did. I considered setting an alarm, but thought, I don't have anywhere to be tomorrow, so why mess up a good chance to sleep in?

Slept in I did, then played with my dog and my parents' cats for a while before heading to Target for some premature Christmas shopping and Jewel for some long overdue grocery buying.

Only when I got home and logged into my email did I realize I had completely forgotten about a conference I was supposed to attend for school.

Ugh! I can't think of a worse feeling than realizing you have forgotten an important event or appointment. And I can't help but wonder, how can I forget about something like this and let my mind wander to trivial things like early Christmas shopping?

Lately I sometimes feel like my brain is turned to the wrong channel, or like part of my brain has just been removed without me noticing. A couple of weeks ago, at the Midway station of the Orange Line, I tried to size up an escalator, and I couldn't figure out why I was having such a hard time making my move and stepping onto it. When I finally picked a step and got onto it, I realized my difficulties stemmed from the fact that I was trying to ride up a "down" escalator. I don't know why I am so zoned out lately.

Well, that's not true, I guess I do - I just could not be more tired of going to school. And it's not that I dislike school, really - I just really miss being a normal adult who most nights can just eat dinner and watch tv when she gets home from work if she pleases. Being a student means you pretty much feel like you should be studying all the time, because, well, you probably should be.

And I am pretty much at my wit's end. I don't think I would be so "done" if I hadn't been working full-time or close to it this whole time I have been going to school, but I am just exhausted. If I can give any advice to new college graduates it would be: if there is any chance you will go back to school at all, keep living cheap and avoid debt so that when you go back, you do not have to work.

So, I felt like shit for missing the conference. But I am glad I got some other personal stuff done, though, like finally getting some food in this apartment, and doing that early Christmas shopping done. I know that should be a much lower priority on my list, but I cannot emphasize enough how stressful Christmas shopping has been since starting law school. DePaul normally wraps up around December 19, and this is when I have begun my Christmas shopping for the last three years. Last year was the first year since starting law school that I did not shop in Christmas Eve. A couple of weeks ago, I was at Target shopping for some birthday gifts for friends and noticed how nicely stocked everything was for the holidays and thought, "since I will inevitably end up here on Christmas Eve trying to pick something out for all my relatives, when everything is picked over, why not do that sooner, when it's not picked over?" So, that's what I did.

I guess the Christmas shopping also seemed like a good idea because I am really excited about Christmas this year. This will be my first Christmas in 10 years not working in a horticultural job, which means I get to experience the holidays without working six or seven days a week restocking Christmas trees and lights or water poinsettias, and wondering how the holidays slipped by without me noticing.

Of course, when I got home I felt bad because I remembered my apparently not so resolute resolution to buy all my Christmas gifts at local craft markets and such this year, and I went and did the exact opposite. But I didn't buy all my gifts yet, so there is still time for craft fairs, too.

On the way to the Jewel, I also drove past the condo that the man of the house has had in mind and I realized how much I have been picturing us living there and hoping that the deal goes through. Both sides are driving a hard bargain but I think my heart is set on is living there, so I'll keep my fingers crossed that no one else snaps it up.

I also spent way too much time on Facebook this weekend. I can go weeks without logging into that thing and then get hooked again for no reason. I guess it has been particularly fun lately because all of a sudden I am seeing everyone I have ever known ever on it. It seems it has really reached quite a critical mass lately. It has been especially fun and interesting to connect with some of my relatives who I don't get to see very often at all.

But really, really. Enough messing around on the internet for now.

more sucks this week than just the weather

It turns out it has been harder to find the time to write this thing than I had thought. The end of the semester is approaching dangerously quickly and I am really trying to spend my time knocking out my assignments, but somehow things keep getting in the way, like facebook, news reading, and animal petting.

Anyway, it seems like it has been a bad week for a lot of people which has reminded me not to complain about non-problems like school assignments. On the same day this week I learned that the mom of a high school friend passed away and that my former employer just cut a couple dozen positions. As for my friend and her mom, I spent a lot of time at their house in high school where her mom cooked us tasty Polish food and tried really hard to teach me to speak Polish, too. She was always welcoming and kind. And, the jobs cut included that of a person who was a very good friend and coworker to me and who I desperately hope will land on her feet. I vowed to avoid the pitfalls of discussing any sort of employment issues on here so I will simply say that this company will quickly realize they underestimated her contributions and it's their loss. On top of that and other sad news from friends, my asylum class is always a good reminder to be grateful for every day I get to live my normal life, even when mundane or annoying.

So in the spirit of not complaining, I will mention some of the better things that have happened over the last couple of weeks:

- going to DC and spending a great weekend with my boyfriend
- seeing Cookie Monster in person, or monster(?) (my fellow muppet-loving friend already took "in the flesh, I mean fur")
- watching a bunch of awesome old Jim Henson works I had never seen before
- catching up with friends and finding out Texas and motherhood are treating them well
- ordering food and watching movies with friends like we are teenagers (I forgot how fun it is!)
- catching up with friends before they move to Portland
- watching the election with law school peeps, closing the Plymouth and somehow being the last person to leave downtown Chicago, even after the Obama rally
- hanging out with my little sis and almost getting her to try Indian food
- dining with my parents at the quaint Healthy Food Lithuanian Restaurant on Halsted, apparently a favorite of my grandpa's back in the day when he was a Bridgeport barber and resident
- seemingly getting the heat working in my apartment (for real this time)
- getting invited to return to my internship in the spring.

Best of all, one month and five days until I am on vacation from everything (well, really just work and school) for three whole weeks. I'd like to think I will spend that time arting and crafting but I fear I will more likely spend it starting my bar application. For now, though, I will let myself fantasize about the arts and crafts because it is just more fun that way. But first, school work.

So...

...I began thinking about starting one of these a couple of months ago when I realized that I no longer seemed to have very many people around me during the day with whom I could share silly stories and the constant thinking aloud that I tend to do. At my old (well, old,old) job in my previous career I had lots of friends with whom I could have these sorts of moments during the day, and at my last law clerking stint I also had a very good friend with whom I shared many a laugh. Lately, though, my days are a little more solitary, and I find myself still having a lot to say at the end of the day. Now, I actually work in an office with my own, fairly private cubicle for the first time ever, and in contrast to my last job, a computer manufactured in the last ten years with internet capabilities. Don't get me wrong - these accommodations are not unappreciated. But the newly found privacy has been a little bit of a barrier to making new friends.

Anyway, it has been sort of a long week already. Monday night I had planned to visit Melvina Financial/Laundromat/Pet Kennel to a. pay my parents b. wash clothes and c. see my dog. My parents have been extremely supportive of my over last few years as I have juggled going to law school, changing careers and selling a house by lending me money, watching my dog, helping me move my stuff around and doing pretty much any other nice parent thing you can think of. I owe them. Big time.

But, my plan should have been only slightly delayed by my new plan of first swinging up to Andersonville to say goodbye to a very good friend who is moving to Portland today. All I needed to do was to shoo the repairman out of my apartment as soon as he got the antique heat-producing contraption in my kitchen to activate and make my apartment less cold. However, the antique heater had other plans. What should have been one repairman coming to turn the gas line going to my crappy space heater on and lighting the pilot turned into two repairmen hauling out the whole heater and gas line out to the back porch (and leaving it there) and installing and older and dirtier heater from the attic. So, no Andersonville and no trip to the Ridge.

I was annoyed by my plans getting bumped, but more so by the increased stress about my apartment situation that this caused me. My biggest reservation about this apartment has been the shady gas space heater in the kitchen. They are very common here in Bridgeport and since moving in here, I have cursed Bridgeporters for being too cheap to installed forced air heat for like, the last 60 or 70 years or so. But, I knew what I was getting into, so whatever. But last night, the second repairman, who is apparently quite the gas-fed space heater expert made a big deal about how unsafe the old unit was, but how, if anything goes wrong with this one (the even older one that has sat in the attic for ? years) I should NOT panic and call the gas company or 911 - I should call the landlord, because it is his property. Oh, and if anyone tries to take the old heater off my back porch, I should stop them from taking it.

So, by the time I stopped fuming and worrying about dying from fumes, I was pretty tired. Tuesday was a long day, too - all Tuesdays have been lately. I had a client interview at the clinic first thing this morning, followed by school, work, then more school.

I got to see my friend, too. Tuesday was his last night in Chicago and I met up with him at a really nice bar that I am sorry I didn't check out sooner. I am really going to miss him, which is weird for me to say now, because he technically moved away from Chicago in June. But, I knew he would be coming back for an extended visit while he was figuring out his next move, and part of me was holding out hope that he would decide to settle right back down here in Chicago. However, Portland was smart enough to snap him up, so at least now I have a really good reason to go to Portland soon.

So, the Ridge will have to wait until tonight. Hopefully, maybe, I'll have time to get a haircut too, and get some serious school work done, seeing as how I am supposed to go to DC this weekend.